So Serene She Was Almost Transparent,

So Serene She Was Almost Transparent, Ready to let go and float away into the night. Ready to become one of those angelic tears that shine mournfully at night against the dark velvet blanket covering the heavens.
That's what he saw the first time he gazed upon her. The first time he glimpsed her pale face. That's how he remembered her, and that's what pulled him to her, to follow her, to watch her, to think of her as he had seen her then.
Calm, thoughtful, ready to let go of all Earthly ties and float into that oblivious abyss.
She was quite different, although only those who watched her when she thought she was alone would know that. Only to him, was this known.
To all others, she was like any other foolish girl, silly, flighty. Seemingly easy to get worked up into a rant about things she really knew nothing about.
He could see through it. One minute watching her as she really was, when she was alone, was enough to dispel any doubt that she was in any way childish or ignorant. Although truly, she was never alone...he was always there, watching from the shadows, smirking whenever she caught herself doing something silly, and then mocking herself for doing it. Studying her depressed silences. She was sad, she was lost, but she wasn't confused, nor was she blind to her faults and depression.
He knew she knew.
It was in her eyes.
It was in her stance.
It was even in her walk: the way she floated in a contemplating gate around the house, treading softly on her toes, head tilted in a 25* angle. Eyes distant and looking past the mundane household objects for something to occupy her ever dwindling time.
Something that would capture her heart and her mind and her body, completely and undividedly.
She wanted for something.
Something different than what most people had.
She wanted life!
That's what he saw in her eyes, the need to live.
That is what truly drew him to her, he felt her eyes mirror his own soul.
She understood what he did, that all of what most people called living was really just a shallow shadow of what people could live. People lacked real purpose, life has been devalued, no one worries that it, that life, that all that they have, or want, or need, could be snatched from their weak and mortal finger at any time, leaving them bereft of anything save hope.
She wanted to hope, but was afraid. He watched her watch others quietly, studying the faces of her family, searching for that hope in their eyes, searching for life in their eyes.
Searching for that ultimate realization that their life is incomplete and lacking purpose. That without the threat of death, which provides hope, there is no life.That without the purpose to survive, without the independence it takes to wake yourself up, there's no hope for anyone.

He once heard her utter, "Maybe they are wiser than me, to not think about such things, to not wonder what is missing...............They certainly seem happier than me."

Tsk Tsk little pixie he thought you know that's not true, you know that their happiness is simply an illusion.