Lemony Snicket Style

As you, the reader could probably tell from the title, this is a blog written in the style of Lemony Snicket. When you read this try and imagine that there is a person reading it to you in an English accent, Thank You.

Now, the story I'm about to tell to you is the dreadful re-telling of a day, in the life of the Pfender sisters. This will be a most boring blog, so, if, for say, you'd like to read about Nina's (www.dreammergirllove.blogspot.com) great adventure to a marvelous waterfall, or even listen to Jessie Renay Box (www.sister1.blogspot.com) , rave about Dale Jr's loss in the race for past 2 Sundays, you're more than welcome to. But, if you really wish to be bored to death, by a story that includes; missing parents, a huge test, a restruant called the Brown Lantern, a great-aunt named Faye, 3 mysterious eggs, or a full stomach, then read on. But I warn you,it'll probably bore you to tears, after which the tears will mess up your computer, which will then electricute you....
Truelly dear reader, it may just be better for everyone (espcially yourself) if you don't read on.

The day started out, chilly and cold. The girls' parents were all but too happy to leave the house so that they could go on their cruise to the Bahamas, causing the 2 girls to be rushed about the house in a flurry of cleaning, kisses, and hugs.
Now, if anybody out there has a mother (and I hope you all do) you know how touchy they can get when leaving their 'babies' behind, and the Pfender girl's mother was no different.
After a parade of sloppy kisses, and hugs that nearly suffocated the two girls, they were all but pushed out the doors in order to wait for the over crowded, noisy and...rather damp bus.
The bus had come late, but the 2 Pfender sisters still got to school early, too early for a day such as that day. This day would bring the most horriffic test, any child, or man, would ever see...the Florida Comprehension Assessment Test ! ! !
I'm certainly sure that by now you are slumped over your computer and snoring dreadfully loud. I have heard of people going into this state right after a boring story, but i must go on, you though, do not! You still have a chance to go to Stacie or Jennifer's blog, even though they haven't changed it in a week, theirs would still be better than this, dreadfull retelling of a even more dreadfull school day.
But I digress, and now shall continue...
Because of this test (that dragged on for hours at a time) the school's schedule was all out of wack. Gini (the eldest of the Pfender sisters) was only too glad to drag herself to lunch, but when she got there, she learned she had no lunch money!
Woe onto those who must hunger for a lunch they shall never taste, to see other joyfully snacking while listning to the bear like grumblings of one's own tummy.
After this most accursed of all school days was over with and done for, Gini hopped on a bus headed for her house, there was a fight in the back between 2 girls, and the eldest Pfender sister was stuck listening to the screaming banshee's who quarrelled for most of the bus ride home.
At home, The two Pfender sisters (the youngest of the 2 being Emily) were rushed from the house to pick up their brother Robert (also known as Bobby, Bubby, Buddy, Boy, and Booger).
This is also were the restruant, the Brown Lantern came in. On the way to pick up Bobby the girls talked about books they had read, but dont worry, if you've read this far I congratulate you and name you a very persistent person, and if I could I would erect a statue in your name and glory, but I cant, so instead I will spare you the details of the two Pfender's book discussion, and will instead, skip ahead to the diner at The Brown Lantern.
As I'm sure that most of you are thinking, What kind of diner is named The Brown Lantern, or you're thinking, What a spooky sounding name. OR, you're thinking, when will this story be over because I really need to clip my toenails! But I am sorry dear friends but you will not have time to clip your toenails, because, and I regret to inform you of this, but this dreadfull story is far from over. I offer you another chance to leave now, and never click back.

Now, as I was saying...The girls ordered shrimp (Emily's) and a massive hamburger (Gini's). The girls were quite bloated when they left the restraunt and even the mention of food seemed like it would send the girls off to relive their dinner in full detail.

The girls were driven to their Great-Aunt Faye's who also had a guest of her own over. The girls, being children (whose minds wander easily), went out back, where they stumbled onto three, oval eggs. They picked up these eggs, the way children do. {You see, children are very curious about round and/or shiny object, just like wolves are curious about porcupines, and how cats are with just about anything that could hurt/kill them.}
The girls gathered the eggs, but later forgot about them and left them outside. Later, after the visit, the girl's grandparents drove them for dessert. The eldest of the two girls was still feeling dinner, so when Papa brought out a medium ice-cream, it was all she could do from dropping down on the spot (as it is, she only ate a small potion of the top layer).

I am now done recording this most dreadfully boring, and uninteresting story about the day of the Pfender girls. They did have a good nights sleep, if that's any consolation for you, but I doubt it is.
I am terribly sorry if you dropped dead of boredom, or if your computer electricuted you from tears shed at the grief of having read this dreadfull entry. It would be best, if you forgot all about this entry, because entries, as dangerous and boring as this one should be deleted and forgotten about.
If this paper offended you in any way, please contact me at 555-1234.
Now, I am done. Please, I beg of you, do not form an angry mob and search the town for me, I told you at the begining what a ghastley re-telling of a boring day this truelly was. So I bid you, adieu.
(Date: 2/28/05)