I'm not sure about the point of this entry

Well, I was......doing nothing really last night. But then the urge to get up and write came down upon me, so that's what I did. And I realized something, well, not realy realized because on some level I was always aware of doing it on some sub-level of my consciosness, but I'm rambling. What I "realized" I had been doing is that, when writing, I was writing in a rather paranoid fashion. I've always written as if I expected someone else to end up reading my thoughts, and so I've never really written anything too deep, ot too telling, and furthermore, I found myself constantly trying to explain my thoughts, why I felt whichever way I felt about whatever particular topic I was writing about. Of course, I had always been aware I was doing this, but it never really occured how...paranoid...such an action is. I know that that is one of the reasons I've never been able to write in a journal.

Although...I once had a journal on my computer where I was completely able to let everything out. Then I'd save the file and move it into the recycle bin. Of course, I had typed in big letters across how no one but me should read this and I threatened anyone who did betray my trust in such a way that they'd suffer in ways unimaginable (!).

>.<

Okay, so I admit it, haha, I'm a completely paranoid being.

But really, everybody is paranoid on some basic level. Everyone's always afraid of being caught doing something weird, inappropriate, unexpected (sp?), ect..ect..and the list goes on.
And it's basic human nature to want to look your best and be appreciated. Although, I think I don't care so much as that. Nope, I'm more into keeping to myself , having my privacy. I don't really care a bit what others think about me, just as long as I don't have to explain myself to them. It's much easier to say that you're fine then to say something is bothering you and then have people hounding you constantly and asking you what's wrong.
Feh.
I've never been any good at writing introductions or conclusions. Once I get writing I do pretty good, but the beggining and ending have always been the most tedious part of writing for me.
So, Don't feel offended if I don't bother to write an ending to my entries and instead stop
abrupt--