Ironic Ain't It?!

• What a nice night for an evening.
  
• Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
  
• Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
  
• On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.
  
• If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
  
• The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.
  
• Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
  
• Prejudiced people are all alike.
  
• Those who judge others will burn in Hell!
  
• Exaggeration is not all it's cracked up to be.
  
• I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
  
• There's no such thing as nonexistence.
  
• Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.
  
• As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.
  
• It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature.
  
• Avoid cliches like the plague.
  
• Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  
• Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  
• I always try to do things in chronological order.
  
• Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  
• Death to all fanatics!
  
• An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
  
• Don't chew [or eat] with your mouth full.
  
• It's deja vu all over again.
  
• I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
  
• I always wanted to be a procrastinator!
  
• Rehab is for quitters!
  
• Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.
  
• Some people type so fast that forget to include
  
• I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life.
  
• I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
  
• Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
  
• Entropy just isn't what it used to be.
  
• I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
  
• Not only am I redundant & superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
  
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  
• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
  
• Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.
  He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.
  I disagree with unanimity.
  I have my doubts about disbelief.
  Avoid Alliteration. Always.
  Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
  I always wanted to be a procrastinator... never got around to it.
  Freedom of speech is overrated.